This weekend was amazing and beautiful and perfect, and made me think too much about who I am and why I want to be that way. Before I start ranting, I'd like to apologize for leaving you guys hanging for so long- I don't get Internet access in Van, TX, and I've been ridiculously busy since I got home.
I find myself with a really awful case of senioritis, to the point where I'm starting to worry. I know it's going to be like every other six weeks where my grades drop badly in the middle and then turn out fine at the end, but my stomach is starting to feel funny and for once in my life the voice in the back of my head is actually telling me to do work. Maybe that's not senioritis? I don't know, but I've never told myself to buckle down before and it's weird. The classes I'm worried about aren't even classes I need to graduate. Maybe I'm just anxious because high school is drawing to a close so rapidly. Not as much time for second chances as I'm used to.
Speaking of which, I wish I knew where I was going to college. Not too much to say about that, except that hey, I have no idea where I'm going to live in the fall and I probably won't until April 30Th, the day before I actually have to commit somewhere. I did, however, finally decide what I'm doing this summer- I'll be back out at summer camp instead of at home in dear old suburbia.
This weekend was incredible. I expected to have a good time, but I did not expect it to be as perfect as it was. I bonded with people who I would never have talked to, and I figured out a lot, and really, all I could think about this weekend was how lucky I am.
I was a small group leader for a confirmation class of sophomores, and on Saturday morning we did a trust walk, which is basically where one person is blindfolded and the other person walks them though potentially perilous but essentially harmless terrain. The point is to allow yourself to peacefully be at the will of someone aside from yourself in the same way that we should peacefully be at the will of God in our everyday lives and whatnot. Anywho, there was this moment, and it's hard to explain and it sounds kind of stupid now, but at the time it was just so breathtaking. Our group got really spread out on the trust walk and I ended up being with this one pair of girls, walking about fifteen feet ahead of them ish? And the blindfold was falling off of the one who was supposed to be blind, so the girl who was leading her stopped to help her tie it back on, and I stopped to wait for them. I turned around, and they were there, alone in the field, and behind them were some fields and this beautiful forest backdrop, and it was just the most moving thing I'd ever seen. To anyone just passing by, it probably would have looked like one of the girls was trying to choke the other with a handkerchief, but it just really hit me right then how small we are, and how even despite that we still have the power and take the time to make another persons life easier. I just really wish I had taken a picture. People are just so beautiful to one another sometimes.
That was the biggest thing that really got to me this weekend, was how lucky I am to be surrounded by such amazing people. I don't know if any of you have ever seen the everything skit? If you haven't, you should go YouTube it. Anyway, I was in it this weekend, and the skit team got really close over the weekend, and the people on it just shone. Its hard to explain but at adoration late Saturday night, all I could think about was how lucky I was to know people who glow with that kind of light.
I figured out what to do for that English project I'm doing. The one about who I am, I mean. I don't know if I've explained it on here, but basically I have to discover who I am and do a big presentation in it. It presented some issues, originally, because I really thought I knew who I was, but then I realized I was kind of wrong. And for a while I was going to do it about how I'm a really optimistic person, but this weekend, I realized finally that that's not who I am. I'm not optimistic at all; what makes me come off that way is that I'm Catholic. I'm a realist, I just believe in God.
Writing is going. Things just keep flowing out of my brain. All I can say is that any semblance of an off button I may have had is gone.
The picture up top is of the majority of the skit team, minus one of our directors because he was the one taking the picture. They were who I spent a good chunk of my weekend with, and together, on Saturday night, we made grown men cry. I'll see if I can post the skit video eventually so that you can understand why.
I hope you can all have weekends as good as mine was, and I love all of you. I am sleepy, so, logically, I am going to go do psychology homework that was due two weeks ago.