This picture was taken a long time ago at a place I used to vacation at, back when I wasn't so sure of things. Most of me is glad that that's over, but a really small part of me would give anything in the world to go back. Today was an interesting day, and for the most part, really good.
I have a love hate relationship with other members of the human race. Honestly, there are things that make me happier than making people smile, but not very many- call me lame, but knowing that someone looks happy because of you makes everything feel better. I love smiling at half strangers in the hallways and seeing if they say hi to me the next day. I love acquaintances, and talking to people I don't know that well or haven't spoken to in years, and I really, really love my best friends. I do love people. However, they seem to have a knack for pissing me off.
You know something? Most of the time, I feel like I'm a relatively reasonable person. I don't really get upset about things at all, ever, and in most situations I'm pretty darn quick to compromise. The list of things that set me off probably comes up to be less than five. Roughly 96% of the time I am in a really good mood. The other 4% of the time, however, I am in a very, very bad mood.
I hate being in a bad mood. It's not fun for me, and it's certainly not fun for anyone around me- I get very snappish and my voice is low and difficult to hear. However, some people insist upon putting me in that position, and to them, I will say this.
There aren't a lot of things that I don't like, but I really hate when people try to start fights with me. Particularly when they're wrong. What I hate more than that is when people try to start fights with me and they don't do it tactfully. If you are going to start an argument in which you know one or both of us will raise our voice, pull me aside. It's not that difficult. Do not do it in front of a room full of people, because oh hey, I kind of value privacy. The whole world does not need to know everything, and I'm really sorry you feel the need to inform them, but I am not going to aide you in your plight to make sure that everyone in the freaking school hears about our tiff. Suck the proverbial it.
It is so much easier to be polite, and tactful, and happy. Really, it is. I feel like so many people underestimate the simplicity of being content- just stop being angry. Maybe I'm the only person in the world who can control their emotions, but I doubt it. It's not that hard to just calm down. I would love it if everyone would stop for a half second, look around, and just take in the number of people who aren't happy, and the number of reasons why they should be. It will never cease to amaze me how society seems so intent on upsetting themselves with things that are completely irrelevant. I just don't understand the need for aggression- I am more than willing to defend, but I can't wrap my head around the desire to attack.
I don't hate anyone. Honestly, I really like almost everyone I meet. I like getting along with people, and I like making people smile. Do not for a second think that means that I will not smack a hoe. If I am right, I am not at all afraid to tell you, or shout it at you if the situation calls for it.
In other news, I'm continuing to let my brain throw what it wants out there. I just can't stop thinking. Today I typed in a draft text message again. I'm falling behind though, I think- lately I've been neglecting my flash drive. Tomorrow after I turn in my late work for psych, I'm planning on going to the library and letting my brain explode in a word document. Also, my sleep cycle has been more out of whack than usual lately, and the amount of two week late homework I have nullifies any instance in which I may have been called a good student. I really need to work on my time management.
I'm going to go shower and then read a textbook, maybe write for a bit, and then sleep. Maybe I'll take a quick nap and then do all of that, so I can stay up longer. I've come to the conclusion over the years that my internal clock just doesn't run like a normal person's- I feel best when I sleep for short periods of time at regular intervals. Like meals, but with sleep.
Yep, I think a nap is going to win out in this round.
I love everyone.