this could be beautiful.

Writing is really all over the place right now. I'm sorry I haven't been posting, but for a few reasons in particular, my ability to type anything worth reading has been comparable to a roller coaster as of late. If things are going the way I think they are after tonight, then that should clear up soon, I hope.

There's only one thing I really have to talk about right now, and normally I would wait until I'd collected a few other tidbits before I rant about it, but lately I'm feeling like this is becoming more and more prevalent in my life.
Friendship should be easy. Friendship should not be a chore, or something you have to wake up every morning and tend to. It should blossom on it's own, and it should not need help growing. Unfortunately, I feel like too many of us are placing too many rules on something that should be effortless. Too many people are riddling their friendships with unnecessary obligations.
If you want friends, chill. The best friendships are easy ones. That's all I'm sayin, yo.

I lied, I have one more thing. It's short though.
My entire personality is made up of an interesting assortment of flaws, but the one that probably gets me into the most trouble while getting me what I want the quickest is my general lack of self control. I have almost none. If I want to do something, there is a 99% chance I'll do it.
That seems to be coming up in conversation more frequently lately, and what I'll say is this: I get that sometimes it makes my life a lot harder. But there are situations in which I honestly can't understand people who would stop themselves from doing what they want. I understand that it gets me into trouble and it does make some situations sticky, but the amount of times it's ultimately gotten me what I want make up for that tenfold. I think everyone should just do what they want.

I hope you all have a goodnight. Hopefully I'll be back soon. Much love, yeah?
-Loch

obsessive minus progressive

"What do you see right now? You see exactly and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion, Ivy. That is the lie that I tell your eyes. Making the magic happen, in the moment, in that split second, but seeing behind this motherfucker and knowing that it's all bullshit. But I can shape it, I can shift it, I can make it as real as this room. And that's why I'm valuable here Ivy, and that is why you are not."

-Smokin' Aces

"What I don't get is this new obsession with choices. Why is it so nessecary to decide between being a firefighter or an astraunaut? Why can't you be a firefighter and an astraunaut?"
"Because fires don't break out in space?"
"Haha, you're hysterical. Seriously though, like in elementary school? Teachers are basically drilling into these kid's heads that they can only have one dream. I just can't wrap my head around that. These kids should have twelve dreams, a hundred different aspirations, and there's no reason why they shouldn't all come true. Success doesn't mean embracing one career that you focus on exclusivly, it means dying happy."
"Baby-"
"No, I'm being serious! There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to do everything. Especially now that with medicine you can live to be like 130. Really though, give me a decent reason you shouldn't be able to be a doctor and an artist."
"Time constraints?"
"Oh shut up. 130 years, seriously?"
"Maybe I like being a doctor?"
"That's the stupidest reason ever."
"Stupidest?"
"Smartass. You're seriously going to sit here and tell me you would pass up the totally grabbable opportunity of being a famous artist for the sole reason that you enjoy your job as a doctor? You've been drawing since you were like, born."
"Look babe, there's only so much time in a day."
"Alright, 24 hours. But how much of that time do you spend sleeping? Dreaming instead of doing?"
"..."
"Sleep is for the week, babe. You can do whatever the hell you want, you just don't think you can. You're the barrier. Time hasn't got a thing to do with it."




Why is everyone so afraid of being ugly? Being ugly is what makes you beautiful.
I promise I'll be posting more often now. I think I've broken through my block.
-Loch

block.

I can't write anything worth rereading.
I feel like there's something there, I really do. I'm grasping at it and I can't figure out what the hell it is.
I don't know what's going on?

stars still wish on the classy.

Today was really, really good, and it took tonight for me to realize just how little I've written lately and how badly that needs to change. I'm only posting this blog to tell you that. I'll write tomorrow. I'll also post again tomorrow. I would right now, but I'm really, really tired.
I love you with everything I have,
alexandra.