The Downlow

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austin, texas, United States
aspiring writer, English and journalism student, hails from Texas. likes include writing, coffee, books, whisky and people.

Monday, September 27, 2010

like a muthafuckin scratch&win,

I've gotta be honest with you, I'm feeling a little too lazy right now to type anything original. This is a poem I wrote for class. It's completely unrevised. Enjoy.

Life of Fiction.

clutter, clutter, clutter,
the desk in the corner.
The one lit by the sun
coming in from the balcony window.

Pens, pencils, sharpies,
highlighters, far too many flashdrives
to ever really be necessary
a broken lamp cover
picture frame upon picture frame
a drawer with a box full of notebooks
moleskins full of words that still need typing
and edit after edit
and nothing ever really gets done around here.

I shove homework where I can’t see it
school is not as important as this
family does not mean as much as this
not friends, not careers, not life
nothing makes my heart beat quite as forcefully
as a burst of inspiration
as typing the paragraph
that will become 1k
then 2k
then page after page of my obsession
characters fill dreams at night.
déjà vu comes from novels you’ve started and stopped
and eating doesn’t seem all that important
when you could be holed up in a dimly lit room
creating a world you never knew you craved.

You have meetings, you have class,
you’ll never get published without a degree
(college provides some interesting material)
you go back a week later and it hits you
the depression. God, was I really going to publish this shit?

Print. Crumple for Closure. Hide it in a file you avoid.
Maybe pretend to live for a week,
and then you begin to feel empty.

Back at my desk,
clutter, clutter, clutter,
far too many flashdrives to ever really be necessary.
It’s the one where the sun shines in
from the window to the balcony
and the air is filled with the sounds
of fingers pressing down on keys.

By the way, in case you were curious, I kind of love you.

by the way, if anyone jacks any part of this, I swear I'll come after you. It will involve the legal system. I've been watching law&order for eighteen years, don't test me bitches, and don't even get me started on my vast knowledge of copyright laws.

p.s. I'm reading this book right now, Life After God by Douglas Coupland. It is beautiful. That is all.

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