Sometimes I feel like my philosophy on life is a trick question.
Putting aside the hundreds of sub sectors and specifics, there are ultimately two things that I believe in. The first is that there is a higher power, and that said higher power has created the world and everything that passes through it with a specific and distinct purpose. Hence, everything happens for a reason. Each of us will, according to the plan, fulfill our purpose before death. Secondly, I believe that each of us is born neither intrinsically evil nor intrinsically good, but intrinsically talented, and that whether we discover that talent and dedicate ourselves to it in the time we are given determines our happiness while on earth.
Today I was presented with a particularly large and interesting amount of internal questions to answer, most of which I still haven't taken care of, and I remembered how much I don't like making decisions that I don't like to make. Not the most eloquent way of putting it, I suppose, but days like today make me wish that the whole "God's Plan" thing were simpler than it was. Because the thing is that the higher power set the plan into motion, but he doesn't control decisions that we make. Of course, he knows what decisions we're going to make, and he obviously can intervene, but he doesn't do so frequently out of respect for a little thing called free will. Which seriously frustrates me, because I wish I didn't have to make choices. I wish I could know where I'm supposed to go and just go there. The decisions on the way there are hard and stressful and I don't like them.
This is all a part of my personal belief system. And by my personal belief system, I do not mean specifically my religion, although some of my personal belief system does stem from there. This is not me being religious, this is me being spiritual. How cliche.
I just really feel like the easiest way to go about living life is to live it. It seems like that would be the logical way to go, but for some reason, people refuse to stop putting so much stock into things and pressure on themselves and attention onto things like image. It really kills me. If you're not living to find out who you are and what you were meant for, then why are you living? How can you judge people you've never met when you don't know what they could mean to you in the future? How can you be happy?
I want to see a world where everyone understands how to be happy. It is the simplest thing in the world and I have serious issues comprehending why so many people seem to lack the ability to harness it. Here's the trick- the next time you're in a conversation with someone and you think about telling a joke but you worry they might judge you for it, tell the joke. If they judge you, don't be their friend. Treat everyone you meet like you've known them for years. Pick up things for people when they drop them. Offer to pay for the guy in line next to you if they find out they don't have enough money to cover themselves. When you have money, spend it, and when you don't have money, don't spend it. Be honest, and love everyone that you meet, no matter who or what they are. Chances are, deep down somewhere in them, they have some good, and you might be literally the only person whose ever tried to bring it out. The world lacks sympathy, and frankly, it's starting to show.
I'm really not pressing for a lot here, folks. Being nicer is easier. Some people just don't realize how much nicer they need to be.
I'm still reading Dorian Gray. I'm also still writing. I have no idea where what I'm writing is going, but I think I'm just going to keep using that brainstormer thing when I run out of ideas and see where it takes me. I'm a big fan of spontaneity! I saw Robin Hood tonight. It was good, but it seemed reallyyyy long. Probably because it was really late when I saw it. Not to mention that it was two and a half hours. Hahh. I apologize for the rant, I just felt like it needed to be said.
I can't wait to publish a novel and give copies to all of you.
Love, of the truest, deepest sort,