There is honestly only one thing that I am good at and that is writing and it terrifies me to think about what could happen if I don't succeed, which is exactly why I will, because failure is absolutely under no circumstances ever going to be any kind of option. I would give up everything to win.
I wish I knew how to go about things but no one gives me the advice I want and I always want to do what I want instead of what I should. I wish I could just leave everything and go somewhere far and wear oversized flannel and tights for pants and sit outside in 60 degree weather and alternate between taking out a canoe and working on eight novels at once, but instead I have to deal with college and obligations. I hate obligations because our purpose is most definitely not to pay the bills and mow the lawn and go to work and file our taxes, it is to love and be loved and die happy, and I can't do that when I'm doing everything else. I wish someone would just be okay with me doing what I want? Especially if what I want is not what I need?