The Downlow

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austin, texas, United States
aspiring writer, English and journalism student, hails from Texas. likes include writing, coffee, books, whisky and people.

Monday, September 19, 2011

there's a light on in chicago

I'm not going to lie- I have a lot of friends.
Not bragging or anything, I just really love people and I know a lot of them. I don't have a lot of close friends, but people tend to ask me when they're looking for parties or they need to get in touch with someone because I have the most connections, and I'm always the one who brings three or four too many people along with her. I've always been loud and obnoxious, particularly in situations where I should not be talking, like class- I had a love/hate relationship with almost every single one of my teachers in high school for commentating on what we were talking about that day with usually relevant but often unnecessary thoughts. I got in trouble in like, literally every class and there was always a point in the year when my teachers would just give up trying to keep me quiet after I would respond to their last ditch effort of moving me across the room from my friends by A)yelling across the room instead and B)making friends with my new neighbors. I am an extroverted person, and while I require alone time and I often get annoyed or bored if I'm around the same people for too long, I am inherently social.
I think though, that I gravitate toward people who aren't. I guess I never paid attention until recently, but the people who I don't get bored of, who I really let in and who I'm fascinated by, are the quiet ones- the ones who don't wear their heart on their sleeve, which is something I have an unfortunate habit of doing. It's a challenge getting to know them, and I guess once I do something tells me not to let it go. While I've had close friends who are just as outgoing and crazy as I am, the people who I really, really trust and who I'm genuinely loyal to are always the ones who I have to break out of their shell a little bit.
I think maybe I might be a little bit jealous- they have mystery, and have probably spent a lot more time thinking than I have. Mostly, though, I think it's because I know that I can really truly trust them with the dark things that I keep to myself, and that's hard to find.

Love,
Loch.

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