Today two of my editors told me they hoped I got more sleep. I'm not really sure why? It was a little confusing.
I have been so busy since I posted on Thursday. I've gotten the most ridiculous amount of things to write and I haven't been able to because I've been working or spending time being social. Which isn't bad now that I look at it but I really just want to hole myself up in my room for hours to write, except for that I don't have time. I'm going to be busy for the next two days. I'm scared I'll lose everything in my head :(
I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing here, in college and in general. Sometimes I feel like I'm living a life like normal as a formality. I am looking for material when it comes down to it. I'm in college to work at the paper and I'm in life to discover new lies to be honest about.
The poem below has been edited. The dialogue below it will probably not make sense to you, but it's all I have time to write right now and I feel like it's important.
The honest truth is that no matter who you are,
I will love you regardless.
An overdue message
We are diverse, intelligent, and focused.
We put aside differences.
Recognize that we shake things up
let that echo through the halls.
"So basically what you're telling me is that I have no reason in the world to trust you, but I should because if I don't then I'll trust someone else who I have no reason in the world to trust and then I'll die."
"Is it really that difficult to accept?"
"Yes? I'm not going with you. I'm not going with anyone, I'm going home. This is too much, I can't do it."
"You have to. You really don't have a choice."
"There's always a choice. There has to be one, this isn't real. I'm going to pinch myself and wake up, and you'll go back to wherever you came from and I'll be back with Kreed and away from you. I cannot express how desperately I want to be far, far away from you."
"This isn't something that can work Derek. Like, I shouldn't have to explain this to you. I'm not doing it."
"Khole, don't be difficult. You and I both know that this is all that matters."