I've asked about you

and they told me things, 

but my mind hasn't changed.

Last night I was lying in bed relishing in the fact that it was Christmas Eve and then in the fact that it was almost New Years, and then my thoughts rested on resolutions. 2011 took a lot away from me and I lost a lot of who I was. I don't know how I could reconcile some of the events of the past year, but I know how I can make sure that 2012 will not be the same. It's kind of lame, but I think that every night this week I'm going to post a resolution. Mostly because it'll give me something to hold myself to.

We all have our nights,

1 - write every day. 

Love, 

Loch.

p.s. Childish Gambino's new album was disappointing — Drake's was not.

overdosed on compliments

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

list of things I wish I could convince myself to do

drive to your apartment

quit my job

take a sick day just to read

go to the club on a Tuesday

spend a Friday night alone

text you without a reason

try and find you

get out of the car at the cemetery

take a walk by myself

call my cousins

admit to you how pissed off I still am

express regret

tell you everything

For all of my straightforwardness, for all of the blunt, inappropriate statements that I have ever made, and there have been many, I cannot make a rash decision to save my life.

I adore you, 

Loch.

say lines and pay fines

hey hi hello,

Things I love too much

cici's

coffee

singing badly

the cici's salad bar

certain shitty people

dancing around to my iPod

working at a fast food establishment

falling asleep on other people's couches

showing up at other people's houses

old shoes that are falling apart 

shoes that make my feet hurt

staying up until 6 a.m.

community reruns

braided hair

lists

lots of love,

Loch.

marvin's room.

I appreciate the finer things,

coffee,

old books,

cigarettes, 

good sales, 

airplane rides, 

sleeping until noon,

going to sleep at six a.m.,

unrequited love,

friends becoming friends with other friends,

loving my roommate,

long, quiet nights with neighbors,

text messages, 

whisky,

nice people,

paychecks,

banter in the workplace,

instant gratification.

-Loch

tell her i apologize

obsessed.

-Loch

don't hate me

I think that it is really fucking great that there are kids out there who can quote pages from the dictionary. If you know the entire english language, all the etymologies and definitions of all the words that we've ever spoken, I think you are brilliant and I'm sure you have an incredibly high IQ and I am sure that many, many colleges will welcome you into their outstretched arms. I commend you. However, you are missing the point.
Writing a novel is not stringing together meanings. Writing books and poetry has nothing to do with loving to learn new words and to use them profusely and to prove your vocabulary before everyone else's. It is about using beautiful lies to illustrate truth. That is what telling a story boils down to.

Do not tell me what I love.
-Loch

start a war

Coffee and cigarettes are a food group.

On Friday, I almost didn't go to initiation for the sorority my roommate and I joined. I got cold feet and I called to say I wasn't going. The president called me and tried to convince me to, and I told her I would consider it. Then, I realized that if everyone was freaking out so much about me not going, I might as well go. When I called back the president to tell her I was going, she literally started crying with happiness. If there is anything I will remember for the rest of my life, it will be that, if only because it is such a beautiful example how people are wonderful.

Right now I am sitting in the office eating a muffin for breakfast at 2:31 p.m. and contemplating doing anything that might actually be considered productive. This weekend I realized that I lost something a long time ago, and I think I might have found it again. My stress has been a bit subdued, but now it comes in waves, so for a while I feel great and then suddenly my stomach is turning.

National Novel Writing Month was a fail. So are my academics.

I cannot wait for this semester to be over,

Loch. 

bright blue eyes

throwback! I'm reverting to posting lists,

things i miss

summer

spinach pizza

time for reading

my hair, this time last year

a job at a fast food establishment

evening margaritas with the wolfpack

Sex and the City marathons, ere day

that one kid from high school

driving, especially at night

early mornings

cafe bohemia

August

you

I can't stop listening to Florence's new album. You should really check it out.

Much Love,

Loch.

if they ever spoke

alone again,

I'm on the road again.

-Loch

we wave and call

I believe that the world is full of beautiful things.

Two nights ago a friend and I were talking about getting hurt, and she told me that something about me makes people comfortable, makes them understand that I don't expect much in return for friendship. It was probably one of the nicest things anyones ever said to me. 

-Loch.