fuck, let's get it

Tomorrow things will begin again, but not entirely in the way I'd like. Parts of myself have gone on hiatus.

-Allie

I'm not sleeping now

There's this weird sort of restless feeling that's been building in my stomach that I just can't break and it's so frustrating. I guess there's not really a point to writing this except for that it's helping with the knot in my belly — I feel like I'm on the brink of something new but I'm not quite sure what it is yet and it's killing me. Bleh.

I cannot stop listening to Ellie Goulding again. I'm going to go drink some Earl Grey then get drunk. I may write again later.

I love you,
Loch.

still so young

Things I like too much right now

coffee

hummus

marlboros

too short shorts

rainbow hair colors

walking everywhere

mason jar glasses

political fiction

Irish whisky

floral prints

politico

I swear to god I'm never the same person for more than a month at a time, sometimes I can't keep up with myself.

-Loch

I'm too alive

The eyes on my cat alarm clock are following me around my room and I am aware now more than ever that there's no one in my bed tonight. It's almost the new semester which means things are going to change again, like they always change at the beginning of the school year, and to be honest, I'm getting a little impatient. It's like I'm getting cabin fever but I don't know where I'm trapped or by what. Hopefully I haven't sleep-talked too much this weekend.

Last night I cuddle and today I'm in a frenzy. How pathetic am I?
I wish I had more to say, and that I wrote more often like I used to. Happy August.

I really hope you look at me like you did yesterday, tomorrow.

Here's a picture of my awkward cat,

Much love always,
Loch.

national anthem

Journalist Loch is in there somewhere, fighting to get out. I want an excuse to use my voice recorder again.

-Loch

you hate being alone

Sorry I was gone for so long.

Sucking on a marlboro
tan thighs from frayed denim
hair styled good from grunge,
blown wild by wind,
no semblance of sequence.
Days spent hardly justifying 
nights spent only self-indicting,
whisky stains over gross mistakes
littering laundry across speckled floor.
Soft spoken leaned against balcony bars,
disappointment glittered sarcastic,
I'm sorry.

Starting another blog was silly, this will always be my first baby.
Love you,
Loch.

the internet isn't real

http://alexandraloch.wordpress.com/

I'm still going to try to update this periodically, but from here on out it's likely that I'll be moving over to wordpress, if only because I don't understand how this new blogspot format works :p I don't wanna give classyandlit up though since it's been going for two and a half years now.

I love you, I know I'll talk to you soon,
Loch.

set fire

Disclaimer — I’m sorry if this pisses anyone off. If it does, it’s my opinion. Sorry. If it bothers you too much, you can just unfollow me, I will not be offended.

Today, I heard one of the most repulsive things that I have ever heard in my entire life. First I should start off by explaining a fiasco from last semester. I interviewed this guy who seemed really fucking weird but ultimately harmless about this modesty club he started. He’d never been to a party in his entire life and when he saw me he said he thought I’d look “more attentive” (what the fuck?), but he wasn’t rude or anything after that and he didn’t say anything too crazy so I wrote up a q&a with him and it ran on the front page. Needless to say I should have googled him, because the next day there were pictures of him on the West Mall (an area of heavy traffic on campus) holding a sign that literally said “WOMEN BELONG IN THE KITCHEN”… and he was completely serious. Turns out the asshole was a raging sexist with ridiculous backwards ideals and I’m lucky I didn’t get my ass fired after the backlash.Now that everyone’s heard that horrible memory, I can move on to something even more revolting. Today I was sitting outside at the student union eating Chick-Fil-A and reading Rosencrantz & Guidenstern for my English class when I look over and who do I fucking see but Ralph* the Sexist Asshole, with a magazine reporter (God help her). So Ralph has a friend with him this time, Chelsea*, and she sits down next to me with another reporter to talk about traditional ideals. She started off by explaining that she was more traditional than Ralph, so I obviously eavesdropped. Turns out, this girl is honest to god dropping out of UT’s pre-med program three years in because she believes that while it’s okay for women to be educated, maybe even formally, that “God didn’t intend for women to be on the same level as men.”

Everyone, just let that soak in for a second. 

This woman has the potential to be successful. She is obviously intelligent because people don’t just get in to UT’s pre-med program, and she was also pursuing a degree in liberal arts so it’s not like she’s limited mentally, which absolutely fucking baffles me because how can you honestly think that because you have a vagina, Jesus wants you to bear children and make sandwiches for the rest of your life? God help this bitches kids because lord forbid one of the girls has the good sense to want a college degree, or one of the boys wants to marry a girl with the good sense to want a college degree. Not only is she wasting thousands and thousands of her or her parents’ dollars so that she can follow “God’s will,” she’s missing a very important point — WHY WOULD GOD HAVE MADE WOMEN INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO BE ON PAR WITH MEN IF HE DIDN’T WANT US TO BE ON PAR WITH MEN. Hello, your logic is fucking flawed. 

Now, don’t get me wrong — I love God. I believe in Him, I pray, I’m in a fucking catholic sorority. But I also drink, I like boys, I have a good time, and now this girl wants me to think that among all the other things I do wrong, I can add my education to the list. I honestly think that God, the God that christians and jews and muslims and whoever else pray to, loves you and basically just wants you to love him too, and as long as you try to do the right thing and be a kind person, you are probably going to heaven, or at least purgatory which is basically just a waiting room for heaven anyway. I get that the bible has a lot of rules but frankly, God didn’t write the bible; people did. Granted he gets quoted a lot, but do you really think that all of those rules came from him? Consider the fact that it was literally 2,000 years ago and maybe, just maybe, some of those people who wrote down the bible for the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit may have just added in a couple of their own 2,000 year old ideals as well. 

Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, but it just makes me really angry and sad that there is a girl who is snuffing out a bright future because somewhere along the line asshole told her Jesus didn’t think she deserved it.

Much love,
Loch.

hey sugar

I came up with a new book idea, it'll take a year to write and it'll be done on my 21st birthday, or the day before, or the day after. It will either make me more money than I could possibly spend, or it will bring me nothing but ridicule, both malicious and non. That's all I'm telling you about it. :) Meanwhile, I'm still working on the book I was already working on, and I've been writing some poetry. Also, I bartended a party last night and it was wonderful — I cannot wait until I work in a bar over summer.

I finished reading the Old Man and the Sea today. It was the saddest in the world and it was wonderful. My first Hemingway experience was a pleasant one. I'm not sure what I'm reading next but I'm leaning towards Faulkner or Kerouac. 

Much Love,

Loch.

I run this

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,

I have two blogs along with, of course, my facebook and twitter. There's this one, my original baby, and then my tumblr which started off as an online compilation of my work and turned into me posting writing quotes and music videos of whatever song is stuck in my head that day. I'm also considering opening a wordpress because I'm really lame and I honestly enjoy blogging that much even though no one reads any of it hahahh. That being said, I think I'm going to start doing that fancy vlogging thingie. I'm not sure what about yet? I'm also not sure when I'll start posting? I'm also not sure if it'll be interesting in the least bit? Hahh it may be really terrible, but it seems like a natural transition. 

Basically, I just want feedback on whether you want me to upload the videos to my blogspot account as well hahh. Text me or comment or whatever else if you do.

On another note, I really love Tom Stoppard. Rosencrantz and Guildensterns banter is wonderful.

Hahh, much love,

Loch.